The Welcomed Consensus instructors, Francoise and Susan, are interviewed by Dr. Patti Taylor who is known for her expertise in expanded orgasm. This is part two of her interview with them about Deliberate Orgasm.
How are everyday people going to learn, what some people have spent a lifetime perfecting behind bedroom doors? You would be surprised by just how much unique and detailed information about their profound teachings are in this interview. Listen to two instructors talk about their own sensuality and experiences. Francoise and Susan answer questions giving listeners, both male and female, information about Deliberate Orgasm: Learning How from Basics to Mastery.
Deliberate Orgasm: Learning How from Basics to Mastery an interview by Dr. Patty Taylor
Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Love Making show. I am your host Dr. Patti Taylor of ExpandedLovemaking dot com and I teach you how to make exquisite love. This is part 2 of a two-part series. Today we will be looking at Deliberate Orgasm, learning how, from basics to mastery.
How are everyday people going to learn what some people have spent a lifetime perfecting behind bedroom doors? You would be surprised that just how much unique and highly explicit information our guests today have been able to share about their profound teachings.
Our guests today are two women who have devoted many years to intense research and experience on this topic, Francoise & Susan.
Francoise: Well, we do a demonstration of a woman in orgasm for one hour. We want to show what is possible and people, actually, students get to watch her come for an hour.
For example, she likes to feel his strokes being lighter. So, this is how this would go.
Susan: I would say, “I am so glad that we are having this date together, your attention on me feels so good. Would you use a lighter stroke?”
Francoise: “Oh absolutely, I would be delighted to.”
Susan: “Oh! That feels so good, I love how you lightened up just a little bit like that. Perfect!”
Francoise: Right and communicating with each other in a winning way only makes things more fun. And it’s really a simple tool to learn. It’s very easy to learn. It’s just a question of deciding to use it. It just creates beautiful orgasm and that’s the beauty of it. I was going to say that, with your partner that, through using these techniques, you actually can get around to the place where he can give a woman a better orgasm than she can give herself.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome, Francoise and Susan.
Francoise: Thank you
Susan: Hello Patti.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, welcome back. I will say Francoise and Susan are instructors in The Welcomed Consensus, which is an internationally known organization, teaching sensuality and sexuality. Founded in 1992, they offer courses on sensuality, communication, and intimate relationships. They have an incredible DVD and online video library and they teach courses. And have a great chat board, The Clit Board. We are going to find out all about this.
Relationship dynamics practicing Deliberate Orgasm
So, on today’s show, we are going to talk about how you can understand the relationship dynamics that go on between the giver and receiver of Deliberate Orgasm, which is what they call their practice. We also call it ‘The DO’. And then learn about the incredible programs and DVDs (and online videos) that the Welcomed Consensus has made available to bring their knowledge to you, in so many ways.
Let’s get going. Let’s start with relationship. We promised in the first part of this interview we’d get back to men, haven’t talked too much about them. We’re talking about women, of course, if mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. Ain’t that true?
Susan: That’s right.
Dr. Patti Taylor: That sounds like we got mamma pretty happy here. She is incredibly gratified, and orgasmic and in her pussy power. So what about the men?
Francoise: Well the beauty about this is actually that, the first part of it is that, men that discovered this technique and use it with their partner say that actually how much happier they are themselves. That they feel that they can produce this great orgasm in their woman’s body. It takes a great deal of pressure off of the men because, by DOing them, they get to create that orgasm in her so easily. Then keep on making it better.
The other part about it is, that in DOing all that applies to a woman actually applies to a man. Oftentimes, men that master this technique say that they feel that their own orgasm expands themselves. That the same kind of model of extended orgasm, that they started experiencing that in their own bodies from having learned to produce it in her body.
The woman can learn to DO the man exactly the same way, using exactly the same concept. It’s another fun way, another fun thing to add to their sex life.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, that’s a lot of information right there. But first of all, I just have to unpack that, it takes a lot of pressure off of him when he can get her off and I think that’s really true.
Susan: Yes, that’s right and he feels successful. I mean he has a woman that is gratified and happy. She is filled up with orgasm and he is winning with her. That’s what guys want, they want to feel that. They want to feel like they are succeeding and they are winning and giving their women what they want.
Dr. Patti Taylor: I have never met a man, that didn’t want to make a woman happy. So, I don’t even know one, OK. So, I guess, I can’t even conceive of that because every man I have ever met is dying to make a woman happy and just would pay a million dollars to figure out how. You know, it’s like, everyone was like, “if only I knew what she wanted”, right? They are so excited when they can find out how.
So that was the first half. And then the second half was, they figure out how to extend their own orgasm. The result and I would imagine from what you said, is that the woman figures out from having it in her body how to be a better giver.
Francoise: Right, she can use the same concepts in DOing him but also simply from him learning. Because one of the really important components of Deliberate Orgasm is actually communication. We believe that sex is a subset of communication.
Sensuality is a subset of communication
It really is a wonderful addition to people’s sex life, where they get to talk to each other and say what they notice and she can talk about what she is experiencing. Also, she can talk about how she would like, maybe, to experience new things.
Then from there and learning to extend her orgasm and giving her that kind of orgasm, he will also learn to relax his body and go more on a ride, whenever, in his orgasm. So all the same concepts really do apply. And she can use the same concept when she is DOing him.
Dr. Patti Taylor: OK, so now you guys have a DVD (and online video), you guys, gorgeous, beautiful women have … your group has a DVD (and online video) on communication. Can you, the two of you role-play a little communication for us? So we get an idea of what kind of communication might work during a DO date.
Francoise: Yeah sure, for example, let’s say that she has discovered through exploring her own body that for example, she likes to feel his strokes being lighter. So this is how this would go:
Susan: I would say, “I am so glad that we are having this date together, your attention on me feels so good. Would you use a lighter stroke?”
Francoise: “Oh absolutely, I would be delighted to.”
Susan: “Oh! That feels so good, I love how you lightened up a little bit like that. It’s just perfect!”
Francoise: And as the DOer, I would say, “Oh, I can feel that sensation shooting right through my finger into my arm. And your clitoris just engorged more under my finger.”
Susan: “Oh, I felt that too. It feels so good. I just love that. Would you use a lighter stroke?”
Francoise: “Absolutely, I would love to.”
Susan: “Ah, thank you, that feels even better.”
Francoise: “Oh, now your clitoris got a darker shade of red and it’s even more engorged. I love to see that.”
Susan: “I love it, too. It felt so good.”
Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, so… that got me turned on. That was hot. I could imagine how that would actually spice up a date, you know that kind of communication. So, you have a whole DVD (and online video) on communication [Deliberate Orgasm: Better Orgasm Through Better Communication]. Your DVDs (and online videos) are phenomenal I have to say.
Francoise: Right and communicating with each other in a winning way only makes things more fun. And it’s really a simple tool to learn. It’s very easy to learn and just a question of deciding to use it.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Let’s talk about some more of your DVDs (and online videos) because I love them so much. You know, I get turned on by your DVDs (and online videos). I think the energy goes right through the TV screen. I really do.
Francoise: It is our intention that people can feel that orgasm when they watch it.
Dr. Patti Taylor: I think your original one, Deliberate Orgasm [Deliberate Orgasm – Expanding Female Orgasm], I have to say is a classic. And I know you have a new one that’s, ‘A Three Minute Orgasm’ [A 3 Minute Orgasm – Introducing Deliberate Orgasm] and you are really excited about that. So do you want to tell me what you are so excited about, is it because we are living in such a busy world today?
Francoise: Well we do a demonstration of a woman in orgasm for an hour [OIC – Observation of Intense Coming Course]. We want to show what is possible and people, actually students, get to watch her come for an hour. A lot of people would say, well we don’t really have time for an hour orgasm and so we want to show that it’s really quite easy to have a three-minute orgasm every day.
Every day you could decide first thing in the morning, whenever you get up, that you are going to have a DO date. There you go; you start your day with pleasure in your life. It has quite a big influence on people’s day and the way that they relate with each other. You could be doing the same thing as you meet up with each other at the end of the day. Take three minutes, it is actually so easy, and yes, we do live in a very busy world. Two or three times for three minutes per day is only nine minutes. That’s a lot of orgasm and you can be gratified in nine minutes.
Susan: And it’s DO-able.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Also, I think there is something to be said for… Sometimes starting with a small chunk is easier to swallow. So, like you said, to have a small goal is an easier and more achievable goal. So, if you are intimidated by having an hour-long orgasm, or even a 15-minute orgasm you know, having a three-minute orgasm could lead to an hour orgasm. No one says you have to stop in three minutes either, right?
Susan: That’s right, absolutely.
Dr. Patti Taylor: It might be easier for some people to hear. So, what are some other videos that you think that you are really excited about? You just did one…
Francoise: We actually have a new female masturbation video. We have a female masturbation collection, where the woman demonstrates using the Deliberate Orgasm technique to learn about her own body. Our new female masturbation video is called: Better Female Masturbation and a Better Sex Life. We love this video because the woman in the video shows how exploring her body and finding out about the things that she likes using this technique that she actually got to learn how to have better orgasm and then tell her partner about it. And it would enhance her sex life together. We love that.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Is that the one with Daisy in it, the blonde lady?
Francoise: Yes, and Daisy, she has a fun story because before she started taking any sensuality courses she used to masturbate using her finger right on top of the hood. She used to think that her clitoris was too sensitive to touch directly. Through taking some of the sensuality courses that we have offered, she had learned to touch her clitoris on the glans directly and found out that there was more sensation and more fun to be had. Now, she loves that and she shows how she is doing that.
She has also learned to relax. She used to tense up and just go quickly over the edge. But now she has learned to relax and expand her orgasm. She shows how she uses that also, into her sex life.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, I thought it was a very impressive video for a number of reasons. First of all, it does my heart good being in the field that I am in, to see women modeling things other than your standard porn. She has this real grace and dignity, and beauty, and composure about her. There is something so, I don’t know her energy, is just so beautiful.
Susan: It is.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, you can just feel it. There is a stillness to her and a vibration to her, and there is a subtle energy, and a beauty, and I might… Ahh!! I love that women can see other women. This is not exploitative, it’s intimate. It sort of looked like it was made by women for women.
It’s that women model again. There is so little of this out there. It’s tender, it’s very tender, and delicate. And it’s just like, “am I seeing this?” This has got to be so amazing that a woman could watch this and see that there is more out there. I thought it was a very touching thing to watch.
Francoise: Well, thank you. We will make sure to tell her. She will be delighted to hear that.
Because that is one of the messages that she has been wanting to get across, and we have been wanting to get across. The beauty of it is that it is all-inclusive in the relationship with her partner. Sometimes people have this feeling that female masturbation takes away from a person’s sex life. But we wanted to make sure that we could show that it is inclusive and that it actually enhances finding out about the things that you like.
You have to know what you have to start out with and the kind of touches that you may like. And then you get to explore more of that with the person that is, your partner. And it is beautiful.
Learning by seeing video of the techiniques
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes. Now just quickly, one of my, I think, maybe one of my favorite DVDs (and online videos) is your one on Peaking…
Francoise: Right. And so, that’s one of the things too… in addition to that. If we come back around …
Dr. Patti Taylor: To tell people what Peaking is, I am sorry to interrupt but, Peaking is deliberate stopping and starting. You actually have a DVD (and online video) on that [Deliberate Orgasm – The Technique of Peaking & Extended Orgasm]. I just want to say, I think that’s what takes you out of basics and into mastery. And I thought it was so well done, Francoise, you were in that one, weren’t you?
Francoise: Right, I am actually, yes [Laughs]. I love Peaking. Well because Peaking, as you very well explained it, Patty, is the deliberate interruption and then building of the sensation. You can expand the orgasm and actually make it more, what we call a ‘dome-shaped orgasm’.
Where you can build the intensity and extend it for as long as you want. Because you basically are varying the intensity and then so you can keep on stroking for as long as you wish. And it just creates beautiful orgasm.
Ah that’s the beauty of it. I was going to say that with your partner, that through using these techniques, you actually get around to the place where he can give a woman a better orgasm than she can give herself. What a luxury.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, so all and all, I know that you have more DVDs (and online videos). I just touched on the few that I liked. We are going to go for a break now but, I think our listeners, I am sure you are flattered and happy that I love them. But I think our listeners deserve to know that you guys are offering some phenomenal DVDs (and online videos) out here, that will bring your teachings to people that want to learn this stuff. It’s really just some amazing footage out there. I love to watch them myself and every now and then I just watch them. They’re amazing.
So, anyway, we are going to pause for a break, This is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am here with Francoise and Susan, and you can learn more about The Welcomed Censuses, of which they’re a part, at their website welcomed.com. We will be right back.
Find out more about the educational organization
Dr. Patti Taylor: We are back and we are talking about Deliberate Orgasm, from basics to mastery. So, we are coming into the final stretch, why don’t we just find out a little bit more about your organization. You do some other things, too. You teach courses from basics to mastery including, you have one where, I mean, the basics are the basics, but one where people will watch a woman cum for an hour, right?
Susan: Yes, we do. It’s called the Observation of Intense Coming. It’s a lecture/discussion and we talk about it before, during, and after. You will see a woman in orgasm for an hour. We show it is a dome-shaped orgasm with many peaks along the way. It’s a very fun course. We love teaching that course.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh, that sounds like a great course.
Now you don’t have to take your clothes off for all your courses though, do you?
Susan: No, absolutely not [Laughs].
Dr. Patti Taylor: Darn, have to kind of work right through the system there, right?[Laughs] You probably don’t want to take your clothes off for all of them, you know, get to know people first. There are actually a lot of fun courses and it’s all on your website. So I recommend people to go to welcomed.com. And you are in a number of cities, too. So, that’s a really fun thing.
And you have The Clit Board, which we talked about before, which is sort of like a clipboard but you call it “The Clit Board”. Can anyone read that?
Francoise: Anyone can read it and anyone can post to it actually. It’s a great place to ask questions. If you have any questions and you get feedback from other people, as well as from the instructors. There is actually an archival where there is a lot of information on orgasm and relationships on The Clit Board.
Dr. Patti Taylor: It’s got a huge amount of information and they can even talk to you on there, can’t they?
Francoise: That’s right, they can ask any question they want.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Any question they want, I think that’s great. So, they can reach you by phone, they could… So what kind of courses do you teach?
Francoise: Well some of the courses right now, that we actually love so much, that we offer now some Sensuality Retreats. Because we have had people that come from all over the world and from out of state, who want to come, so we offer an environment of three-day retreat or, a three to five-day retreat, where people can come and they don’t have to worry about anything. Their lodging and accommodations are handled. They can put all their focus on where they want to go into the next place in their sensual life.
We have a very basic one, which is called the Sensuality Introductory Retreat. It’s a lecture/discussion and it includes the demonstration of a woman in orgasm for one hour. Really it is for everyone, whether you are single, or partnered, men and women. It will enhance pleasure in all areas of life regardless of proficiency and experience.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, I want to go, I want to go. But, until then I am just going to have to keep watching all your great DVDs (and online videos). Our show is coming to a close. So, before we go, I would love to find out if you would like to just give us one parting final thought to send us on our way here.
Francoise: Well, I would have to say that we are talking about the men and the women. I have to say that women want orgasm, they want a lot of it. Usually more than what they are willing to admit. Learning about Deliberate Orgasm is a great way to have better communication between partners. A woman can learn to find out what she likes and then talk to him.
Tell him what you like; tell him your true desire. From there she can explore her sensuality and then together, they can explore their sexuality together, and have a lot of fun. It’s a great format, it’s a great gift. And a man can learn after time to give her a better orgasm than she can give herself and it’s a wonderful gift.
Susan: Yes, that’s right on. Also, it’s really a man’s craft to learn how to DO a woman. They will go to places they just have never explored before. How fun it is for them to go on that kind of journey together. A man can feel so successful with the woman learning how to give her an orgasm. Guys, they really want to know what women want.
So, when two people are willing to communicate with each other on that level and find out what their desires are it’s a fun process. It’s a life-long process. So, have a great time and enjoy yourself along the way.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, yes, well thank you.
Francoise: Thank you so much for having us on the show Patti, we really so much enjoyed it.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Me too, I am coming my heart out. Thank you so, so much. So that brings us to the end of our show. Thank you once again.
Patricia Taylor, Ph.D., has hosted more than 120 podcast interviews in the field of enlightened sexuality. She a leading teacher of Expanded Orgasm and Expanded Lovemaking, an author, and a creator of sexuality education programs for couples.