Dr. Patti Taylor talks with the Welcomed Consensus about how to feel more sensation, have better sex and more fun through exploring the potential of female orgasm. Listen to two instructors talk about their own sensuality and experiences. Francoise and Susan answer questions giving listeners, both male and female, information about Deliberate Orgasm, the practice, the pleasure, the power.
Episode 1 Transcript
Deliberate Orgasm: The Practice, the Pleasure, and the Power
Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the “Expanded Lovemaking Show.” I’m your host, Dr. Patti Taylor, of ExpandedLovemaking dot com, and I teach you how to make exquisite love. This is Part 1 of a two-part series. Today in Part 1, we’ll be looking at “Deliberate Orgasm: The practice, the pleasure, and the power.” Deliberate orgasm is spelled D-O or called “DOing” and in this context, it’s the art of giving a woman focused orgasmic genital stimulation that can be intensely gratifying. We will be delving deeply into how you can learn to give and receive this kind of pleasure. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
Our guests today are two women who have devoted many years to intense research and experience on these topics, Francoise Devresse and Susan Tarantino.
Francoise: Orgasm is part of our life and what we do is we teach what we live and that’s how we do our research. We actually live it and then see what we notice about it. That’s the kind of thing that we actually put in our research and our teachings.
Susan: The female orgasm is the foundation of our sex life and our sensuality.
Francoise: We have found out that over the years, we can always come to deeper level of relaxation that will increase the sensation. You can experience it all over your body that way.
Francoise: The very basic little tool that you can use is make sure you use a good lubricant. You can use a KY lubricant. Or, when people are partner together for a while, they can use some Vaseline or dab a Vaseline and lubricant is a wonderful addition and you get right on there. The position that we like to use is so that the man can actually look at a woman’s pussy.
Dr. Patti Taylor: I would love to welcome both of you to the show. Welcome, Francoise and Susan.
Susan: Thank you, Patti.
Francoise: Hello, Patti.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Hi. Welcome. Let me tell you a little bit about Francoise and Susan. They’re both instructors from the Welcomed Consensus. Welcomed Consensus, now, let me tell you about them. They are an internationally known sensuality, an organization of people who are sensuality and sexuality educators. They have researched female orgasm for over a hundred years collectively. They’re founded in 1992 and they offer courses in sensuality retreats, better communication, better orgasm, more intimate relationships. They have an extensive video and DVD library that show detailed explicit demonstrations and descriptions, and we’re going to be talking about, in the Part 2 of this show, some of the most incredible video footage I’ve ever seen. It’s so amazing, I just can’t believe I have you guys on my show. You guys are amazing. They’re located in the San Francisco Bay area.
Welcome to our show.
Susan: Thank you.
Francoise: Thank you.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes. It’s so great to have you here. So, listen in as we discover, listeners, what these internationally famous people have to tell us about “DOing”. Why so many, many women have taken this up as an art form that they say has direct their lives to unimaginably better and more orgasmic realms. We’ll get basics today, and then in Part 2, some of the specifics.
Let’s get going. Francoise and Susan, you just go as you wish. Tell us what you are all about, the Welcomed Consensus?
Francoise: Our main focus is on female orgasm and a while back, we all were very interested in finding out how to have more fun in our life and more fun from having better female orgasm. So we focused our research there.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, you focused on the female, why is that?
Francoise: Most of the time, we’ve discovered actually that in researching and looking at the female orgasm, that there was actually a new kind of pleasure and new world, actually, that were available that will translate into the men’s orgasm as well. So we decided to put our focus there and find out what would open up.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay. What would open up?
Francoise: One of those things is we’ve noticed that a lot of the model of orgasm are often times based on more of the men’s model of orgasm of kind of tensing up and then going over the top and the ejaculation model, which actually can be a lot of fun. But then, also, we noticed that there could be other possibilities of extending the orgasm. And a woman’s model would, basically, encompass more of the pleasurable sensation and finding out ways to actually expand it into many peaks and to more of a continuous orgasm.
Dr. Patti Taylor: I love what you’re talking about. So, I just want to stop for a moment. Did you get off this morning?
Susan: Yes, I did.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Right.
Francoise: Orgasm is part of our life and what we do is we teach what we live and that’s how we do our research. We actually live it and then see what we notice about it and that’s the kind of things that we actually put in our research and our teachings. Female orgasm and getting DOne everyday is part, or several times everyday, is part of our life everyday, and we love that.
Dr. Patti Taylor: So, okay. But just when you’re telling me that, my pussy is wet and I’m just feeling these contractions going up my pussy and up my spine. Would you make a point of let’s say getting done before you were to come on a podcast that was going to be heard by many, many thousands of people in particular?
Dr. Patti Taylor: So that’s the female model, maybe, of orgasm that you’re talking about. Right?
Susan: Yes, it is and it’s available at anytime. As you just said, you could feel it in your own body and that’s the way that we live. We have it everyday and it just enhances everything else that we do and it’s so fun. It’s just so fun being in touch with your sensuality and feel your body and no matter what you’re doing. Whether it be coming on to a talk show or making a great meal or going into the next make out with your partner. The female orgasm is the foundation of our sex life and our sensuality.
Dr. Patti Taylor: I think that’s so amazing. Well, let’s continue on with this female model of orgasm. But one more question, how many times a day would you experience the “DO.” You call it the “DO,” right?
Susan: Yes, we do, Deliberate Orgasm.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Right. Okay.
Susan: It can vary. We get off at least once a day bare minimum, but most of the time, it could range anywhere from three dates to five dates. It varies, depending on where we’re at and what we want and the rise and the fall of the energy that we experience in our bodies.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow!
Susan: So we’re about having fun with it and using it to have more sensation.
Dr. Patti Taylor: How long do dates last? Is there an average or is there a range?
Susan: There is a range. It could range anywhere from one stroke to three minutes. We have a video of three-minute orgasm, which demonstrates how you can have a completely gratifying DO date in three minutes up to, you know, you can have an hour orgasm. We do a one-hour demonstration of a woman in orgasm to show what’s possible, so there’s a range.
Dr. Patti Taylor: So, everyday, you’re having between one and five experiences. Okay, good. I think our listeners would love maybe to just see what the practice would look like. Could you describe for us what is a deliberate orgasm?
Francoise: DOing, a Deliberate Orgasm, is actually very simply when both people agree beforehand to put their attention on one person’s body. Often times, people sometimes, during their lovemaking, the attention shifts back and forth and they’re all wondering if they’re doing the right thing with the other person and they’re wondering if they’re touching them in the right place. Well, in this way, in order to expand the optimum amount of sensation, beforehand, both people agree who will be the “DOer” and who will be the “DOee” and they both put their attention on the person who is being DOne. From there, if the woman is getting DOne, then the man will stroke her clitoris with his finger. From there, there’s actually a great amount of sensation that can be experienced. The only thing that the woman has to do is relax and enjoy.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! When you say the woman just has to relax and enjoy. We are going to get to your videos, believe me, I am such a fan of your videos. I think they’re amazing. But, right now, we’re on the basics and one thing that I think striking about your video when I see them is when you say to the woman to relax and enjoy, she is moving but it’s very subtle. She’s not moving around like you see in a porn movie.
Dr. Patti Taylor: It’s very different, isn’t it?
Francoise: Right. What happens is that through this learning the DOing technique with the finger, the DOer can very specifically get on the spot on her clitoris. He’s right there on the most sensitive place on her body, so she actually doesn’t have to move. He’s right on the place where there is the most amount of sensation, so she can just relax. The more she’s going to relax, actually the more she is going to feel. We have found out that over the years, we can always come to a deeper level of relaxation that will increase the sensation and you can experience it all over your body that way.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes. Sometimes, when I watched your video, the women are so relaxed. They are so relaxed, and yet, it gets me into a profoundly feeling state. So I think you’re modeling something very profound about how much feeling a woman is able to receive. I love that about your teaching.
Francoise: Thank you.
Susan: Thank you.
Dr. Patti Taylor: We’ve been talking about the practice somewhat. Why don’t you just tell us a little bit more about the practice? Do you always recommend that the giver use their left hand or is that sort of like something I just heard somewhere?
Francoise: Actually, both hands, right hand, or the left hand can be used. It’s just slightly different hand placement. When you use the left hand, you could actually use your thumb to rub slightly more on the shaft of the clitoris. But really equal pleasure can be experienced from both positions.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay. I do want to say, want bring up your videos now? Your “Deliberate Orgasm” [Deliberate Orgasm – Expanding Female Orgasm] definitely demonstrates what you’re talking about. You do have a beautiful video called “Positions” [Deliberate Orgasm – DOing in Different Positions], which explains how you can use a number of positions, alternate positions, for getting into this very relaxed state. So what are some of the stages that a couple will experience if they learn Deliberate Orgasm?
Susan: That’s a very good question. It’s really a process, and from the time two people start to practice Deliberate Orgasm to – they could be doing it for many years – there’s always new things to learn and explore and research about your partner’s body. So it really is a process that it just keeps getting better. We’ve been doing this for 20 years, 25 years, and there are still new things that we learn about our bodies and about each other. It’s a very intimate way of relating, which requires a level of communication that it’s so fun and it just keeps getting better really. That’s how we define a good sex life is one that keeps getting better. So we found throughout the years of research that DOing is really the foundation and there’s just always new things that you can find out about.
Francoise: Right. We think that we so much encourage people to experiment, introduce in their sex lives is something to add to what they already do, and they will notice very quickly that it will actually enhance all of the other things that they already do.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay. Good. Is it something that starts out like really difficult for a lot of people and then gets easier? Do you find that? You must work with like hundreds of people if not thousands. Is it easier for most people over time or is it always challenging?
Francoise: Actually, it’s very easy. It really is so easy. The fun part about it is that from the very beginning, it is very easy to do. People – and that’s what we want to show in that DVD “A 3 Minute Orgasm” – is that it’s easy and a man can gratify a woman, she can be gratified in three minutes per day. The fun part about it is that – like Susan was saying – is that, you can always get to a new level. Find what you’re doing good and just keep on going to a better place and there is more exploration to do. But it’s really easy to get started. Just learn how to get right on her clitoris and stroke with these little strokes right on the left side of her clitoris and there, she will be coming.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes. I think that’s a really important point that you teach, which is to get started right away on her clitoris. A lot of people teach that you need a lot of warm up, you know, you need to do that first. You’re saying sort of the opposite, go right for the clit and get started.
Francoise: One of the very basic little tool that you can use is make sure you use a good lubricant. You can use a KY lubricant. Or, when people are partnered together for a while, they can use some Vaseline, a little dab a Vaseline, and lubricant is a wonderful addition. You get right on there and the position that we like to use so that the man can actually look at the woman’s pussy. It’s such a turn on to actually have a man look at your pussy and describe what he notices while he’s doing it. It’s very simple and it’s so fun.
Dr. Patti Taylor: It is a turn on, isn’t it? To have somebody say, “Oh, your lips are so wet and pink and shiny and all of that”.
Francoise: Right. Right. Most people are not told that and a lot of women that come to our courses say that they’ve never had a man to directly look and describe what they notice about their pussy. Every woman has always come back and told us what a turn on and how fun it was once they started incorporating that into their sex life.
Dr. Patti Taylor: So, just to make it clear then, you actually don’t feel like for the orgasmic DOing practice to start with a lot of warm ups somewhere else. You say to just start right on the clit, just go right for the clit and you start rubbing on it. Right? Or, getting it engorged maybe with a little squeezing and pressure and just go right away for the clit to start.
Susan: It has the highest concentration of nerve endings in the body. So with DOing, when both people have their attention on one person’s body, the potential for the amount of sensation that they can experience is really exponential. It’s unlimited and it’s so fun. Like Francoise is saying earlier, it just enhances anything else that two people do together.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay.
Francoise: There’s no performance anxiety. The man can easily give her an orgasm with his finger. So he can make her come, and so they’re right there. They’re both in a state of surplus right away. Whatever they do after that is fun.
Dr. Patti Taylor: It is fun. How about thunkspots? You talk a lot about thunkspots.
Francoise: That’s right.
Dr. Patti Taylor: How do you know where to touch it? Could you describe thunkspots for us? How would a man or a woman, if she was to give, know where to touch those?
Francoise: Well, thunkspots are spots that are located inside of a woman’s vagina that are very sensational actually. That’s when after she’s gotten DOne, getting DOne and having a DO date, a Deliberate Orgasm date, will actually get around to engorging her whole pussy. So inside of her, she’s engorged also. So after she gets DOne for a while, then it’s actually very easy to reach some of these spots inside of her and there is a spot commercially known as the G-spot, which is actually the spot that once she’s engorged, he just inserts his finger just a little bit toward the top going toward her clitoris and you can stroke over there and on each side of the urethral opening and it’s very sensational.
The same way, you can go around to the spot that would be going towards her thigh or that would be from her vagina going toward her pelvic floor and her anus and her other thigh. It’s really easy to do. You just use your thumb or your finger and then stroke softly just if you were touching a piece of velvet.
Dr. Patti Taylor: So how come they feel so good.
Francoise: The vagina itself doesn’t have any pressure sensitive nerve endings. But when a woman is engorged, actually, nerves in the deeper tissues are more sensitive. So when she’s engorged and you stroke right in there, you can actually feel the whole inside of the vagina gets wrapped around the finger. Right then and there, there’s a lot of sensation because there’s a lot of blood flow that has flowed into the pelvic floor. So that’s another reason why DOing is so wonderful is that the whole pelvic floor of a woman is engorged wherever she is being touched, it’s actually very sensational.
Susan: Highly pleasurable.
Dr. Patti Taylor: So then, what would be the best time to go touch the thunkspots would clearly be after a woman has been DOne, right?
Francoise: Right. Exactly.
Susan: Yes, because she’s been properly engorged. All that tissue is filled with blood. It’s so fun to have these places touched.
Dr. Patti Taylor: They’re all puffy.
Francoise: If they’re engorged. Right. Actually, in the video, the thunkspot video…
Dr. Patti Taylor: Which video is that? You have a thunkspots video?
Francoise: Well, we have a thunkspot video.
Dr. Patti Taylor: What’s it called?
Francoise: It is called “Deliberate Orgasm: Thunkspots” [Deliberate Orgasm: Manual Penetration While DOing – Thunkspots]. RJ DOes the woman first and then, once he demonstrates exactly where the thunkspots are located and how to touch them, you could see the touch that he uses and they’re so easily accessible. He demonstrates all of it in the video with detailed descriptions.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! I have to see that one. I haven’t seen that one yet. I know he talks about them in other videos.
Dr. Patti Taylor: We were talking about the pleasure. I want to talk now about the power. You say you do this everyday of your life. I’d like to know, how has it changed your life?
Susan: One of the main things that we’ve done, researching and talking a lot about, is the amount of energy that women have in their bodies. We found that, actually, women are conditioned from a very young age to actually be out of agreement with that amount of energy. There’s too much or it’s not enough or how to get rid of that energy. What we do through Deliberate Orgasm is we build that tumescence and that energy and we have the most amount of fun with it that we can. We found through DOing that two people, they get into agreement with that energy and they create better orgasm with it. It’s one of the things we’ve been taking a good look at, that we found that when we are in agreement with that energy, it just flows through your body. You feel happy and you feel so good having that kind of an orgasm from the place of being in agreement with how your body feels.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Do you have any examples, either from your life or from somebody that you’ve taught where you’ve seen this profound life change?
Francoise: Yes. Actually, I could use example of this woman that is actually a career woman and she wanted to get around to having a more pleasurable life and being able to enjoy her relationship with her man fully. She always felt she had to run from one place to the other and get everything done as quickly as she could. There was never enough time to get everything done. When she and her partner took courses from us, they actually both got to experience that kind of pleasure and gratification and happiness of being with each other and feeling that they could have everything that they wanted and they could have their life exactly the way that they want it.
She actually told us a frame recently when we visited with her that she said she always felt like she used to feel like she had to dash through the halls and go on to the next thing in life. She realized that enjoying her life and having pleasure as the most important part of her life allowed her to have that expansion of seeing that she could have everything. She could have a career if she wanted to and she could have a great sex life and she could have a life of luxury and pleasure. All of these felt that she didn’t have to give up one part for the other, that she could have it all.
Susan: Yes. She enjoys all aspects of her life. It’s just her orgasm, it influences all aspects of her life and her level of enjoyment of things and her sensuality.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Thank you. That’s a beautiful story and I’m guessing that you see that a lot.
Susan: We do, and it’s one of the things that we love to do is because we’ve experienced that from our own experience of feeling how much actually our life has changed and how much more we enjoy being with each other and we enjoy the things that we do. We love to give that gift to people.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, as someone who does it myself, I totally understand and I can only imagine how many more gratified women and men there are in the world. We haven’t talked about the men much. I guess, we’ll get to that in Part 2 of this show, which is coming up next. So, let’s put that on hold. We’ll get to the men, it’ll be great to talk about that.
So we’re going to bring Part 1 of our show to a close. Before we do, I’d love to just ask both of you if you’d be kind enough to leave a parting inspirational thought for our listeners today.
Francoise: Yes. What we’d have to say is to take the Deliberate Orgasm into the bedroom and experiment with it. It is a fun thing for two people to relate with. It’s so easy to do, it is so easy to just decide that you’re both going to put your attention on her body and put your finger on her clitoris, talk to each other and start stroking. There is a wonderful experience that are on the other side of it that will last for years, it will keep on opening up.
Susan: Yes. I agree, and it’s a fun, friendly activity that a man and a woman can relate over with each other. Yes, I can’t emphasize enough how fun it is to do that. It really does build a great relationship and friendship.
Dr. Patti Taylor: I agree. It’s really great thing to do. Well, listen, you, guys, are really fun, too. I thank you so much for coming on this show today. I can’t wait to have you back for Part 2. We have so much more to talk about. I just want to say for our listeners, Part 2 is going to be a lot of fun, too, because the Welcomed Consensus has not only done so much research and experimentation for themselves. How cool is that? Okay? Smart move on your part.
But, they have found some brilliant ways to share their wisdom for all of us listeners and people out there who just haven’t found a way to make it to come and live with them or take their course quite yet and who want to see or feel or find out how to do it for themselves, and I so honor that. Their work is exquisite, and we’re just going to find out more about that. So please hang in there with us because there’s more to come.
So, we’re going to bring this show to a close. Thank you, once again, for being with us, Francoise and Susan.
Susan: Thank you.
Francoise: Thank you for having us.