Sandy, 45, has lived with her partner for over 4 years. Wanting to put fun and life back into her relationship, she came to a Sensuality Retreat seeking winning information about her sensuality and female orgasm. Listen to Sandy’s retreat experience as she describes exactly what she was looking for, how she perceived her orgasm to be, the life changing discoveries she made and why she is so enthusiastic about going back home to the man she loves.
What was your experience of the One Hour Orgasm Demonstration?
Sandy: My experience of the one hour orgasm was amazing. Seeing Rachael so relaxed, watching her body react and listening to her responses to the stimulation on her clitoris, seeing all the changes in her labia, seeing her urethra swell, the process of bringing her up and then coming down and that you’re not limited to just coming up and being done or coming up and down.
You can have as much fun as you want for as long as you want. I look forward to practicing those and actually communicating with my partner which is something that is new. It will be a new way of experiencing and being able to experience an orgasm. The whole experience was just beautiful.
What was your concept of orgasm before coming to the retreat?
Sandy: My concept of orgasm before coming to the retreat was that I didn’t have them, That I wasn’t capable of having them. That what I have had isn’t validated. That I don’t have them like other women, that it’s supposed to be like fireworks! I felt different from other women, like I was part of a separate society because I didn’t experience orgasms like other women, so I’m very pleased that I’ve been here this weekend.
Do you discuss orgasm with your friends?
Sandy: I do, I express my concerns about my orgasms, I share with people that I feel like I don’t have the same type of experience… and the response that I get from most women is “Oh, it’s incredible, it’s unbelievable, it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.” I’ll be like, okay, so what does THAT look like?
And I don’t really get an answer.
What is orgasm to you now?
Sandy: It’s every sensation that I experience in my body, whether it’s the light pressure, all the way to the extreme, pre-touch, all the way to the whole coming down, it’s the whole process. So my going back home and being able to expand on that is going to change my life, and my attitude and my relationship with people.
What was happening in your life that had you look for more or want more?
Sandy: What brought me here and my need for learning more and inquiring about female sexuality and not understanding it was a big part of it. I’m in a relationship where I’m extremely frustrated and angry, and resisting having pleasure in my life. I know there is more to life, and I was open to exploring, probably even desperate. I didn’t see my relationship surviving, and I’m with a wonderful man, who wants to please me in every way. I didn’t know how to communicate my needs or my wants, know my limitations or that I didn’t have any.
What were you looking for when you found the Welcomed Consensus?
Sandy: Answers, to what a female orgasm looks like. Also, what a female orgasm feels like. To accept my own body and my own sexuality and sensuality. To be open to being a sensual woman, and being responsible for that as opposed to being in constant denial of “I am a sexual being and I have sexual needs.”
Why did you choose this retreat?
Sandy: Many reasons – I chose this retreat because the cost is very reasonable, the location is beautiful. The ease in which to get here, flying here and being picked up at the airport. The nature and context of the information, my desire for wanting to know more about female orgasms, and being open to all of the experiences here and meeting the people. Finding hope that I can be a fully sexual woman, I just needed some training to be able to get there.
Did you get what you were looking for?
Sandy: I got what I was looking for, and more. Definitely. I wanted to be responsible for my orgasms. I know that I now can have as many of them as I want, as often as I want for as long as I want. To learn to communicate to my partner what I want, and to communicate how I’m experiencing it and the importance of that communication. To actually love who I am and accept my body exactly the way it is. To feel alive. I’m trying to think of the other goals that I had, but those were very, very significant, and very important. Knowing that I can have orgasms.
Is there a particular goal you had that you obtained this weekend?
Sandy: I actually obtained all of my goals, and then some. Before I came here I was concerned about having a comfortable bed, having delicious food, being in a setting that was beautiful, being around nature, and then orgasms. So it far exceeded… And then all the people. The love that you all have, is so expressive in everything that you do, it was such a pleasure to be around, all of it.
Are there any concepts that stand out for you, information that you heard this weekend?
Sandy: There are so many concepts, and the one that stands out in my head the most is Approval. Of everyone, my partner, my son, everyone in life, without limitation.
Have you had any ah ha’s?
Sandy: Yes, I’ve had many ah ha’s. I believe the biggest “ah ha” is yes, I have to give up judging and making people wrong and my partner wrong for not doing it the way I think he is supposed to do it when I don’t tell him how I want him to do it. The difference in loving people and accepting the pleasure of them, and being with them, and the sensuality in everything around was an “ah ha” In the food – yes, it was amazing how the strawberries, I’ve never eaten strawberries like that before. Just being in a sensual place enhanced a strawberry.
Would you be more specific about your experience of tasting the strawberry?
Sandy: What I experienced with eating my strawberry was the suction that I had in my mouth. Just pulling it like a strand, like threading a strawberry into my mouth. Feeling each seed come in to my mouth, the textures and the pressures. Then the smell of strawberries. Oh, I savored it for the longest time before swallowing it. Very different from how I normally eat.
Have you made any discoveries about sensuality?
Sandy: The discoveries I’ve made over the weekend about my sensuality, was that I’m a sensual being, when I want to be. I can turn it on and I can turn it off. I’m not limited to expressing my sensuality with anyone, there are no limitations there. The other thing I learned was it’s not about sexual preference, it’s about being sensual, in life.
Are you in a relationship?
Sandy: I’ve been in a relationship for three and a half years. It started out very exciting, I was this wild and crazy woman, and he fell madly in love with me. My sexuality and sensuality diminished, over the last 2 ½ years. Which has been very stressful in the relationship. He is committed to having this relationship work, and bringing sexuality in to our relationship, and I’ve resisted. That has been the context of the majority of the relationship.
What do you want in a relationship?
Sandy: What I want in a relationship is to be fully alive and present. To be known, to know my partner. To share everything in life that I can – from breakfast in the morning, to standing outside and being with that person and knowing them totally and being known. And then doing all the adventurous things that we love doing, whether it’s skiing or hiking or fishing or just laying in bed all day enjoying each other.
Do you want your partner to attend a retreat?
Sandy: I want my partner to attend a retreat, I know he is open and willing, and very excited. I’m interested in attending the other courses that are available, and doing the 5 or 7 day retreat as well with my partner.
What do you think about Deliberate Orgasm?
Sandy: It’s a must. Deliberate Orgasm is absolutely vital to life.
Do you want to describe what Deliberate Orgasm is to you, your definition?
Sandy: My definition of Deliberate Orgasm is creating it, being responsible for opening up the engaging of the orgasm experience. Creating the date with my partner, being excited about it. Intensifying the orgasm, and that it’s a new experience every single time.
How do you feel about having both people put their attention on your orgasm?
Sandy: I’m looking forward to it. It’s not something I’ve experienced in the past, so it’s a new experience, one that I’m open to, excited about.
What would you like other women and men to know about your experience?
Sandy: What I would like other women to know about my experience is that it’s life-changing, and it’s available to everyone, every woman. It’s not hard, it’s very easy. Everyone should do it.