“It’s a life changing experience to know how to please a woman.” In this episode, you will hear from Charles in an interview that took place after he attended a 3-day Sensuality Retreat with The Welcomed Consensus.
Thank you for joining us with these questions Charles. I’m going to start off by asking about your background.
Charles: I am a businessman by profession. I’ve had a couple of businesses that I have run over the course of the last 25 years. That’s the primary way that I see myself, as a businessman.
I have had my quest for sexual knowledge, it probably began about 3 years ago when I met this woman. I’d always wanted to know more about sex, but my quest really began when I met this certain woman that I thought was the cat’s meow. She was, I thought, the perfect female for me. But there was one little twist, and the little twist was that I couldn’t satisfy her sexually. Then the quest intensified.
So I started going to different things and there’s a lot of snake oil salesmen out there. A lot and I bought a lot of their products, because I really wanted to know and there’s no place to turn for this type of stuff. In fact when you mention what you’re doing to many people, they sort of look at you like eh? sort of weird you know. Sex, it is one of those taboo subjects. Americans don’t like to talk about that. So that’s how my quest began and what I am and how I define myself.
What were you looking for when you found the Welcomed Consensus?
Charles: I was looking for I think another tool that I could use to help me. I had learned some manual dexterity tools, manual tools from the different people that I have gone to in the past and I figured that this would be another tool. So I was really, I said to myself you know, for $500 bucks, $550 whatever it was, it can’t be all that bad. So I’ll pay the money and maybe the worst that is going to happen, is I’ll come out of this with another tool, so I was looking for tools.
What had you decide to take the retreat?
Charles: I had found you guys and bought the video, but I was taking from this other woman in Los Angeles and I realized that Ok, I had done all she said and I had gotten pretty much what I was going to get out of her. This woman was on Sunset Boulevard. Then I decided hmmm let me go to the Welcomed Consensus, because now I have some time and I have a little bit of money now so let me go to Welcomed and I’ll see what comes of that.
Did you get what you were looking for?
Charles: Did I get what I was looking for? I got more than what I was looking for. I was looking for a tool to add to my tool box. I think I came away with a tool box. The experience that I had here was just unbelievable.
I pinched myself because I had wanted this knowledge, specifically this knowledge of how to satisfy a woman and it’s been a quest. It’s been really longer than 3 years I mean it intensified with this one woman because I wanted to please her so badly. She really loved me and she was even willing to put up with the bad sex but I couldn’t stomach it. I couldn’t give her what I thought she wanted.
When I got here and learned what I learned, culminating with what I saw last night, it was perfect. I realized that I have not only the tools, but I have a blueprint of how to get to my goal. Even though I haven’t DOne anybody yet, I just finished the course less than 24 hours ago, but I know, I just know that this is it. I can tell from what I saw last night. I know that this is the thing to satisfy a woman.
This sexual adventure, when you start going down this rabbit hole, you don’t know where it’s going to lead. You don’t even know that it’s attainable because it’s all mythology that you hear out there. You sort of hear somebody can do this. Then you sort of don’t hear and it’s just all speculation. This is not something that people talk about openly in public.
So you don’t even know if that goal is attainable. When I got here on Friday as we progressed through I realized I was sitting in the right seat. Then with the demonstration that was done last night I said “oh yeah, that’s it”. The light went off and then I woke up this morning at 3 o’clock and I pinched myself because I realized I got what I wanted. I didn’t think, I came here looking for one or two tools and I think I got the whole tool box.
Are there any particular concepts that stand out for you?
Charles: A bunch of things, over and over in my head this stuff has been playing, since yesterday since I heard RJ speak. I remember he said where most women have been in their life is very much akin to if you had never had a full erection. And you’ve come this far in your life and suddenly somebody gives you a full erection. The lights come on and you can never go back to that old way. And when he said that I was like, yeah, I can relate to that. He said, just imagine that you’ve never been sexually satisfied in your life and all of a sudden somebody says ok, here is a full erection. Not only that, I am going to take you through this peaking process where we are going to play with this and have some fun. I saw that process go on for an hour. I am stupefied. It is unbelievable, but I saw it. I was sitting there, I was sitting right there. So I saw it, it is just unbelievable to me.
Did you have any flashes or epiphanies?
Charles: Almost every day I was here I had an epiphany. I could trace, like I said to myself, maybe on day 2 I think it was. I know why every relationship that I ever had ended. I know now. And I know how to not make it end, if I want to. It was about as clear as the nose on your face. By the time that he finished on that day I just said to myself, that’s why that one ended that’s why that one ended, that’s why this ended. It just was very clear to me.
Any other epiphanies you want to add?
Charles: I remember years ago there’s a guy I used to read by the name of Columbus and he had a quote that I’ve always cherished throughout my life and is so relevant to me this weekend, what has happened to me. He said, “Some men stumble over the truth, pick themselves up dust themselves off and then walk away as if nothing ever happened.” I’ve stumbled over a truth this weekend and I am going to use it.
Have you made any discoveries about sensuality or your sexuality?
Charles: Yes, I’ve discovered or came to the conclusion that my idea of sensuality is like driving with blinders on, like this narrow view that I had of sensuality. I learned this weekend that the entire body is a sensual thing. Your skin is a sensual thing, your voice is a sensual thing, and there’s sexual satisfaction to be gleaned from that. Sensuality does not start in the bedroom. Sensuality can start over the phone. Sensuality is so much broader than anything that I might have imagined, this little view, this little tunnel vision I was using for this grand thing wasn’t even close to what this thing really is. So my view of sensuality has been pried open. My view is a lot different now.
What was your concept of orgasm before coming to the retreat?
Charles: I think he referred to it as a genital sneeze. Yeah, that was about perfect, that’s about what I was doing. That’s about how I viewed it and yeah, that was about perfect, a genital sneeze.
And what is orgasm to you now?
Charles: God, it is a very personal thing, it is almost an awakening of your consciousness, your soul, your body. It is all encompassing of all of that. To be in orgasm is to be in that heavenly state. It’s wonderful and joyous. That’s why if you can do it for an hour instead of 7 minutes, it’s heaven.
What interests you about Deliberate Orgasm?
Charles: Initially, I think when I bought the first video and it talked about DOing and it talked about the simplicity of it, I think that’s what initially got me. That hooked me. I didn’t believe it, but I thought, ok, there’s got to be something to it. Maybe this is a partial way to get her there or something like that. Now that I’ve seen it, I know that this is THE way.
Another epiphany that I had was when RJ was speaking the other day, he said all of your sexual experiences, all of orgasm is built on DOing, it is the basis, it is the foundation of it all. So that hit home very hard. Also when he said very simply, there are no pressure sensitive nerves in the vagina. I had been looking for Easter eggs in the wrong place. I got that information and I was like, Wow, no wonder, you’ve been looking in the wrong place. The Easter eggs are on top of the tree.
Which DVD did you watch and what stood out for you?
Charles: I watched Communication and I watched the One hour Orgasm and they both stood out. Communication wise, I loved the training technique there and I figured that was one of the tools that I would get when I came here, I would sharpen that tool. The One Hour Orgasm was very informative to me, but it’s not like being here, and you see it, when you see the tumescence. I mean when I saw what I saw yesterday, it looked like a balloon expanding, the tumescence that I saw, I have never seen that. You can imagine I’ve never seen it because I didn’t know what I was doing. But this peaking and going back and forth with the peaking and the tumescence and the expansion, it was literally like a balloon and it was all her. You’d swear that somebody had pumped air into that portion of her body to cause this explosion, but it was her. My jaw dropped, it was beautiful to see. It was wonderful.
What were the missing pieces from the DVD that were filled in from the class?
Charles: I think it was more me. I just couldn’t believe it, and I think that when I got here and the way that it was presented that the ladies here were wonderful. The two ladies that worked with me for the first couple of days before the OIC, they were just wonderful. Every day they stripped away a little bit of my disbelief and by the time that we had gotten to the end I was believing. Then the coup de gras was the OIC, so I think that it was really me. This was too good to be true and I didn’t believe it really, but it’s true, it’s true.
Did you have a specific goal that you attained this weekend?
Charles: There’s another epiphany that came last night, this epiphany. On day 2, I had asked RJ a question, he had asked me my goals and we wrote them down, and he said, those goals are very attainable. We are going to give you those goals but we’re going to give you bigger problems. I was puzzling with that. What the hell does he mean by that? And then last night, I said to myself, let’s assume that it is what I want, and this is the way which I believe it is. Everything that I ever wanted to do sexually I now have the ability to do, well who do I want to be now? Do I want to go back into my old relationship with the ability to satisfy her? Or do I want to go have fun? So I was sitting pondering that last night at 3 in the morning. There’s another problem he didn’t tell me about, you’ll be thinking about this stuff at 3 in the morning. And so I think it has sort of opened, I’ll let you know later, but I think it has opened my identity as to my options now. Or maybe my choices before were predicated upon fear. So those things came out at me last night.
What do you think about being a sensual researcher?
Charles: It’s cool, it’s very cool.
Does it make you think about branching out and exploring sensuality with friends and other people?
Charles: Oh yeah, absolutely. What I’ve learned this weekend makes you fearless. Let me tell you what I mean by that. So much of sex, from my point of view and I think many men because I hear these stories in the locker room, it’s, will I be flaccid that night? Will I know how to turn her on? Will I know what buttons to push? Will I come in 30 seconds and get laughed at? But now, it’s like, I don’t think about that. I’m thinking about who I want to give pleasure to. So a lot of fear has been removed which is what I meant before about options. My options, my head is spinning as to who I’m going to be when I grow up.
The one hour orgasm demonstration, what are some experiences that you had observing the OIC?
Charles: It was mind blowing. I mean it really was to see that. I was there. I saw it I mean you just can’t fake it. I mean what I saw, and I remember putting, part of the demonstration he let me come and put my hand on her body and I could feel the palpatations running through her thigh. I could feel her stomach I think he called it ridging in her stomach. I mean it was like a wave going through her stomach like that. My eyes were probably dilated tenfold standing there watching this. It was just awe inspiring, it was unbelievable and then he showed me how he did it with his finger. It almost defies belief, I mean that reaction from this? It’s almost unbelievable, but I saw it, and it was incredible.
What would you like other men and women to know about your experience of the sensuality retreat?
Charles: I think that to men I would say that embarking on a journey like this is scary, it’s our nature, we don’t like to not know. You have to open yourself up and literally come in here admitting to yourself, “ok, I want to get better at this”. That’s sort of hard for a lot of guys to do, I mean it’s hard for me to do. But when you get here, what you learn will give you so many tools to deal with sexuality and to make your woman or women happy or whatever your thing is. That it will make you happier too because you will be able to give pleasure at an unbelievable level.
If you can do away with your ego, just for a little while, a couple of days, you will learn some incredible things of how to please your woman, how to please women and it’s a pleasant experience. I’m out here in the middle of nowhere and I mean that, it’s the middle of nowhere. I couldn’t have scripted this because I don’t know that I would. I had no idea what I was signing up for because you just don’t know. I can’t describe this, I mean it’s in the middle of nowhere and you’re studying sex with some people who you have never met in your life. Sounds sort of bizarre. But if you can just dissolve that ego and for the pittance of money that they charge. They undercharge and over deliver. So if you’re thinking about it, I would do it. I would definitely do it, I guarantee you that it will probably have the same effect on you as it did me because you’re looking as I was looking and there’s a lot of snake oil out there. There’s a lot of people selling things that just don’t deliver. But they under promised and over delivered at the retreat and I think it’s a mind changing weekend for me. A life changing weekend for me.
What was your experience of the BenchMark?
Charles: It was fun, there was some questions asked, by me, I asked a lot of questions, they were very tolerant. It was a lot of fun and people shared. I wanted to know if there were any sexual dynamos there in the room and that was the crux of my question every time I asked. Basically, who is the guy that knows his stuff? The men were understated, I think that was just the nature of the guys here. They were understated no one jumped up and I said, yeah, I can do this and all that. I began to get the gist of it when RJ said you’re at a stadium, 70,000 people are there. These guys are in the top 1% or higher. Ok, that’s what I was looking for. So it was fun with the questions and so forth, I enjoyed it.
Did you prefer having your attention on others or on you?
Charles: I don’t know because I learned a lot from both. When Francoise spoke, that was informative and when Becca spoke, she talked about an experience that she had just had with Cedric. When I heard her describe the experience as a woman that he had given her, I said ok, yeah, that’s what I’m looking for. She described it as the experience of a lifetime, or a life experience and her eyes were glowing and dilated and I said, yeah, that’s the look I’m looking for, yeah.
Is there anything that stands out for you that you want to add?
Charles: I think that I have probably already said it, I’ll say it again. It’s a life changing experience to know how to please a woman. I think back to 5 years ago, 10 years ago, I would’ve thought that it was the size of your genitalia that was the most important. And a lot of guys think that. I think some women even think that. So it was puzzling to me. I didn’t know, I just really didn’t know and I was on this quest and I really wanted to know I wanted to know how to be a good lover and I just didn’t know where to turn there was so much disinformation out there. Then coming here and getting this information and knowing that I am going to be able to apply it, it’s a wonderful moment. It’s an important moment in my life and I will never forget this. Never forget it. I will use these principles and I won’t forget because this is some big stuff I think, it will help you if you apply it, and it’s very simple.
Charles: Thank you.