For a moment let’s consider this– women have a body part that its only function is to feel pleasure. I have a clitoris. Whoever or whatever you believe created us, or however we were formed, we were created with a clitoris.
I mean, really, all that thing does is feel. There are over 8,000 nerve endings packed into that nub, way beyond any other part of our body. It doesn’t make babies. It doesn’t make you pee. Its only purpose is to be the hyper-feeling root of interconnected webbing that spreads through your body and makes you feel good. I mean, this is a concept so powerful it is difficult to comprehend its magnitude. We have a place on our body biologically designed for pleasure.
What does this mean? What do we do with this? The answers to these questions are literally endless. Yet, what I do know is that it is something to be savored and explored; it is to be relished, enjoyed, played with, and delighted in. Why don’t we exploit it to our full potential?
I didn’t even know of its existence for many years of my life. The clitoris is not something often spoken of, even now. The thick haze of taboo that surrounds the word makes it a mystery and made it unknown to me, even though it was a part of my own body.
When I was twenty years old, I discovered that I have a clitoris. And now, nearly thirty years later, I am still learning new dimensions to it and the sensations I am able to feel in my body because of it. This incredible part of my body never ceases to amaze me.
I first learned that I had a clitoris in a class I was taking where we were assigned to touch it as homework. When I touched it directly for the first time, I remember feeling thrilled that I was willing to go to a private space and pull back that part called a “hood” and touch it. Touch a part of my body I had never known existed. It felt strange at first and I was pretty resistant to this act of direct, formal contact with this thing. But with the thought ‘this is sensual research’ I stifled that resistance and went ahead and explored with my curiosity holding the reins, and in that process, I got to know it.
I found I liked to use my left hand to pull my hood back, my right index finger to touch the glans directly. I liked discovering what I could feel in my body: tingly sensations, heat, contractions… I used different strokes: light pressure, heavy pressure, swirly strokes, short strokes… I found the upper left-hand quadrant to be the most sensitive spot, and it quickly became my ‘go to’ spot.
As I became more familiar with how I liked to touch it, I began to touch it for different reasons, to create different effects. I would stroke it to relax: if I felt tense I’d take a moment and DO myself. I could feel how my body would respond to the pleasurable attention and then I could easily let go and release the tension I was holding in, and in turn, feel more pleasure. I would stroke it to feel centered and grounded. I would stroke it and run a really good fantasy about someone that currently turned me on, I just enjoyed lying on my bed while stroking my clitoris and fantasized away. Sometimes, I would stroke it and deliberately build sensation in my body with peaks and take myself over a delicious edge.
I liked the clarity it would bring me –
stroking my clit and pleasuring myself gave me confidence in my sexuality.
Stroking my clitoris became a way for me to explore and learn about my body, what I like, my preferences and how my preferences change at different times in my monthly cycle. It became a way for me to take care of my mind and my body. I found that when I paid that kind of attention to myself, by pleasuring and relaxing my body through stroking my clitoris, that I was happier and more grounded in the rest of my day. I could feel those good feelings permeating me and my being, and I began to derive more pleasure and enjoyment from my life.
The clitoris is such an amazing and fascinating and powerful part of women’s bodies, and its potential is merely being scratched on the surface. I only began to really test the waters underneath when my partner introduced me to the DOing technique, for that is where I discovered the vastness of what my clitoris is capable of feeling. The sensations it can create in my body are truly profound. But that is another story.