Have you ever felt like you wanted more out of life? Have you ever fantasized about having a sex life where you could simply ask for what you want?
In Episode 10 you heard from Vladimir regarding his experiences in learning about women through Deliberate Orgasm. Today you will hear from his DOing partner Rachael who agreed to be interviewed on her experiences Deliberate Orgasm and being on the same page pleasurably with her partner.
How did you hear about the Welcomed Consensus?
Rachel: I first heard about it from my DOing partner Vladimir and he subtly introduced it. He showed me the website and gave me a couple details about his experience when he had gone to a course. In going through the website on my own I went through the Clit Board and some of the different areas. I went thru all of the different classes that were offered and I’d also seen some of the DVD’s.
After seeing the DVD’s, it piqued this little curiosity in my mind and I was thinking to myself “Yeah, I do want to know a little more about this”. It was very subtle because of course when I was talking to Vladimir he didn’t push me into it. He was just like, “You should go meet these people” and he just presented what was there on the website.
Once I took a look at it and browsed everything for myself, and had gone through some of the different links and discussions, especially on the Clit Board. Reading some of the different posts that RJ and some of the Welcomed Consensus women had made for people’s questions, I realized that there was something there, something that actually a lot of people were wondering about and the answers seemed to be right there in front of me.
Do you remember what was one or two of those posts on the Clit Board?
Rachel: A lot of it was women talking about orgasm and men had posted that they didn’t really know how to get a woman off. I don’t remember the actual answers but I just remembered thinking, “Yes, this is exactly what I want to know”. Once Vladimir and I had a couple DO dates it started to make more sense to me.
What was happening in your life that you were looking for more, that you wanted more?
Rachel: I came from a pretty conservative background where sex was out of the question. From really any sort of teenage perspective, it was abstinence education. We signed a paper that says, “I promise not to have sex until marriage”, and that’s it. That’s pretty much all that is covered. That and male and female anatomy. That was it. So, when I got to college it allowed me to be a bit more sexually open. I had several boyfriends for a longer period of time and so with them I felt like I was comfortable enough to where I felt like I could ask for what I wanted. But it still felt like I didn’t know enough to really go for what I wanted. There was still always this doubt in my mind, “What if they say no. What if they think that I’m crazy or they think that I’m asking for too much.” It seemed like there was this dance between me being selfish some of the time, wanting to be very selfish some of the time, and then other times thinking, “Gosh, they got their’s, why can’t I get mine too?” So, after a couple years of this I just decided well, I’m not going to mess with this anymore. I’m just going to forget about it. But it kept creeping back in my life. There had been friends that I had that I was just completely sexually frustrated with and it got to a point where I was just swearing off sex completely. It was, “There’s just nothing out there that could possibly solve my problems.”
Then when I met Vlad, there were some things that we had talked about that made more sense. One of them was his outlook on the fact that it is the quid pro quo situation in sex. He basically told me that he was going to put all of his attention on me and not want anything in return at all. I mean that was completely new and he was also really, really eager to do that. It wasn’t something that he felt like, “Well this is something I’m going to do and then later on down the line, I’m going to want something from you.” It was just, that was what he wanted and that was everything that he wanted, and I could feel that this is it and that was enough. When that happened I allowed more of that feeling to sink in of, “Okay this is acceptable and this is something that I really like.” It pretty much completely changed the way that I approach sex.
What is Deliberate Orgasm?
Rachel: Deliberate Orgasm is a person putting all of their attention on a woman’s body and basically manually stimulating her clitoris. It is something that the guy is actually stroking her and feeling what feels good to him and the woman is deliberately feeling her own pleasure in her own body.
How often do you have a DO date?
Rachel: I usually have a DO date about 4 or 5 days out of the week. It started out probably 2 or 3 but it’s been more frequent the more fun that I’ve had with it. And often on a Sunday, a day that I have off, I’ll have several DO dates in succession or several DO dates over the course of the day. In total probably 7-9 a week.
How long is a DO date?
Rachel: They vary over time and we basically agree before the date itself as to the duration, how long it is going to last. There’s some that have been 5 minutes and we have had a DO date or two I think for around an hour, but most of them tend to be around 15 minutes.
Would you describe a typical DO date?
Rachel: It starts with basically, if we haven’t been around each other, we take a couple of minutes and kind of relax. I look at him and sometimes ask him how his day was. He focuses a lot of attention on me and he really looks me straight in the eyes and he gets a lot of that energy that I have as well and really feels that. When I’m ready and when he’s ready, I lay down on the bed. There are pillows to prop up both of my legs. He usually sits over me, with his leg over me and he sits on a pillow as well so he’s comfortable. I really like putting my hand right on his thigh and it makes me feel really comfortable.
The first thing he’ll do is he’ll put his hands right on my thigh area and leaves them there. It’s really relaxing and grounded. I feel him really strongly there. Sometimes he puts his hand right on my stomach area and lot of times he puts his hands right where my breast is but above that, near my collar bone. He’ll look at my pussy and he’ll open up my outer labia and he’ll notice some of the coloration. Really anything he’ll notice at the time.
Then he’ll grab some lube and he’ll spread it along the sides of my outer labia and just get some of the hair out of the way. Then he does this stroke right from the bottom like where my introitus is all the way up but without touching my clitoris itself. By this time, I’m like. “Alright, get it started already.” I really like the anticipation but it drives me crazy sometimes, and he knows it and that’s why he does it. It’s really nice because he’s taking his time and as long as he can, like as leisurely, really drawing the experience out. It makes me feel really special that he is doing this for me.
When he starts DOing me the initial point where his finger touches my clit I feel all this warmth through my whole body. It is a really amazing feeling, just that first point of contact it is like my clit is really for it and I’m imagining how good it’s going to feel. Then I feel it and it’s just better than I even imagined it was going to feel. There are times when he even says, “Wow, I feel that right away”, and he can feel it through his whole body too.
He knows that I like to go up pretty fast and he takes me pretty far up sometimes and he peaks me and takes me down again, and I can feel this falling sensation in my body. When he thinks I’m about ready to go up again, I think he senses that and sometimes he communicates it, “I’m taking you up again.” It’s a really exhilarating experience. All the times he’s kind of noticing different things and he tells me what he’s feeling in his own body and I tell him what my clit feels like and what I’m feeling with my own body and where the feeling spreads to. Afterwards he takes me down like really gently and afterwards I usually just turn right to the side and curl up and feel really wonderful.
Terry: You have been listening to the Female Orgasm Podcast. Tune in again soon for part 2 of On the Same Page Pleasurably podcast and hear about how she and her partner communicate to take the mystery out of sex and to expand and intensify their sensual experiences, how she feels her orgasm when DOing a man and more.