As our sensuality training continues in the online sensuality class, I find myself having so many aha moments. In subtle but powerful ways, I continue to recognize my social conditioning, and see the possibility of living beyond it; an answer to the question “How do we get happy?” becoming clear.
It is so interesting (as Sheri said) that pain is an acceptable standard in our society. We can go to a cocktail party and regale guests with gory accounts of a recent surgery, but we dare not share the delicious details of last night’s juicy orgasm. That would be highly inappropriate!
The same goes for the news- most of what we see reported on TV is bloody, violent, and shocking. The nightly news (with the exception of the weather and perhaps a short feel-good story at the end) is an ongoing saga of war, conflict, terror, and pain. Were Fox News to begin broadcasting stories of barn cats and fluffy ducklings frolicking happily together, or the power of meditation, or the way that full-body orgasms unleash a wealth of creativity- interesting things would happen. Habitual viewers would be left with their jaws hanging open. A huge portion of that population would be enraged by Fox’s “irresponsibility.” Shifts in mass consciousness would occur. Cracks would appear. The light would begin to pour in…
But we’re not there yet. We still live in a culture that eschews pleasure, and celebrates pain.
I never understood that as a child, and I still don’t. I think it’s a misrepresentation of the path to salvation. Salvation, or joy, is our own process to work out. How do we get happy? It’s not by cowering, apologizing, and suffering our way through life. I promise. Pain leads to more pain. The path to joy is littered with dandelion fields, sunshine, laughter, and appreciation. It involves detours into decadent dinners and delicious red wine. My salvation comes one Deliberate Orgasm at a time, one foot massage at a time, one caramel latte at a time.
‘Hedonism!’ the haters shriek, shaking their fists in rage. ‘If you simply indulge your desires, and revel in your pleasures, the world will go to hell in a hand basket!’
News flash: The world IS going to hell in a hand basket, and it’s because no one remembers how to feel joy. We’re all trying to fix each other. We’re blaming each other. We’re not creating our own worlds of happiness, which in turn would expand out and touch the worlds of others. Instead, we stay afraid, vengeful, and isolated. How is this helpful?
Joy begets more joy. Pain begets more pain. Responsible hedonism will play a huge role in uplifting our world.
2) One devoted to pleasure as a way of life.
As a responsible hedonist, I take a steamy hot shower every morning, and scrub my skin with the coconut-coffee-honey scrub I made in my kitchen. I step out smelling divine, and dry myself off with a warm, fluffy towel. I listen to good music as I brew ginger-lemon tea, and dance around my apartment, enjoying the beautiful views of Puget Sound. I pet my soft, sweet kitties, and feel their purrs vibrating their ribs. My heart bursts with love, and then I skip off to teach a yoga class. I am able to offer a bright, authentic class because I’m in a good mood. I see my students walk out of class taller, lighter, and more uplifted than when they came in. I don’t say this to toot my own horn. This is a recognition of one candle lighting another. If I have light inside of myself, I can offer it to another. If I do not, I cannot.
I have also known my share of pain. In my immediate family, we are well-versed in alcohol and drug addiction, heavy depression, anxiety, and co-dependency. I have dwelt in painful, sad, angry, dis-empowered states of being long enough to know that I do not serve myself by being there, and I don’t serve others around me.
But when I uplift myself, have Deliberate Orgasm, practice yoga, make lists of appreciation, enjoy delicious meals, make love with honesty and passion, and seek out more joy and beauty in this world- then I have an opportunity to help others. It’s not the other way around.
So this sensuality training is hedonistic- yes- and thank god! Because as I become more and more pleasure-focused, my bliss comes into greater being. My light shines brighter. I have more love, inspiration, and wisdom to share with the world. As I touch myself, and revel in gorgeous fantasies, I become more empowered. As I watch the barn kitties and fuzzy ducklings frolicking on YouTube, I feel laughter bubbling up in my belly, and I’m kinder to my partner. When I refuse to watch the news, and choose to meditate instead, I am opening up a channel to divine inspiration, and the energy that pours through me renews my own body and mind, and positively influences those around me. I watch this happen all the time.
I choose pleasure over pain. Not irresponsibly. On the contrary, I make this choice with a wealth of knowing, confidence, and life experience at my back. So when I choose to uplift myself and invite greater pleasure into my life, I am uplifting the world around me. This is a choice I make, out of wisdom and compassion. And of course, I benefit hugely. I enjoy the hell out of life. I have a lot of fun. I wink at God, and God winks back. We’re on the same team.
So it is in that spirit that I say… Bring on the next great orgasm!!