Posted by Dan on June 21, 1998 at 16:13:45:

This is part II of my reaction the benchmark. I think this part is a little more interesting... it's related to something I'd been working on and trying to figure out before the benchmark, and I'm curious to see what the WC might have to say about this...

I'm going to start with a (kind of long) post from a friend of mine about another group that I'm in. I've changed references to the name of the group to XYZ b/c I haven't cleared this with her or with them, but if anyone's interested in this, you're welcome to contact me, but it doesn't really matter for this discussion:

I'm struggling to identify positive reasons why XYZ should be anything goes - it's because very cool things like that might happen - things that are beyond the bounds of what happens in most people's normal lives. It opens up people's notions of intimacy, which we all desperately need. We need to protect and preserve this possibility at XYZ. XYZ to me is about intimacy - i think that's the best word i can find to describe the happy safe and loving sex and smuttiness that XYZ is to me - intimacy. i'd love to hear stories of people who got into situations like XYZ and opened up to a new level of intimacy that they didn't know they were capable of - a human exchange of touch and emotion that they never knew before. I'd really love to see this.

How does something like this fit in with what the WC is about? From my admittedly limited knowledge, it doesn't really seem to... all the discussion of fucking and dates and doing; it seemed so mechanical, so insert tab A into slot B, press button C. Maybe you get a 1 hour orgasm out of the process, but where does that take you?

Somewhat related to this: I like how difficult sex is sometimes! Okay, there are times when I'll go to a bar and think hey, I'd just really like to score tonight, but most of the time I enjoy the game, the whole process. I wish the overall level of openness to playing was a little higher in our society, true, but I don't mind it being a little difficult. Do people living in the house ever miss this aspect of sex and relating?

The reason I brought up the whole intimacy (for lack of a better word) is that creating environments where that can happen a lot, maybe at will, is one direction that XYZ is experimenting with. I think WC might have part of the answer, but it's all disintegrated for me right now. I'm definitely looking forward to getting the video and the next Common Sensuality class. But anyone have comments on all this in the meantime?

Follow Ups:

• Doing is one of THE MOST intimate acts I've ever participated in Yvonne 12:31:37 6/26/98 (0)