Posted by Dan on June 21, 1998 at 15:46:37:
As promised (to one person, at least), here's my reaction to last Thursday's (June 11th) Benchmark. I forgot my dang journal at home but I'll try to remember as much as possible off the top of my head. I apologize in advance if this sounds critical -- if it does, I'm more than willing to admit that this might be more due to a lack of understanding on my part than any actual structural problems with the benchmark or the group itself.
What started me thinking about all this is that while I was pretty excited about the whole thing while it happenened, the more I thought about it the stranger it seemed. Specifically, I think the whole structure of the Benchmark wasn't *really* designed to encourage two way, open & honest communication, although that's what it seemed like at the time. Maybe that isn't the goal of the benchmark -- if it isn't, what is?
Example: Unless I'm mistaken, Withholds can be used to close off an area of conversation. This actually happened to me... there was something I would've like to discuss with someone, but I couldn't without breaking the rules of the game as I understand them. Hotseat was similar... there were directions I would've liked to have gone with the conversation that was beginning, but I couldn't go there because of the structure of the game.
At one point the topic of extreme honesty came up. I think it's good to promote honesty in relationships, and that serious problems DO crop up when people don't say what's on their minds for fear of causing hurt (I've been in a situation like that and it sucked). However, "but I'm just being honest" can also be used as an excuse to be rough and inconsiderate with someone's feelings. I've been on both sides of this situation, and it sucks, too. I think there probably has to be a balance, and maybe the conversation just didn't go there (this was during a hotseat), but no one seemed to be considering this downside.
Overall, obviously my curiousity has been piqued, since I'm sitting here writing this. I have more, but I'm going to stick it in a separate thread to keep things easy.