Posted by Angela on October 09, 2009 at 11:59:

In Reply to: Who Is Dominant? posted by Chris5 on October 07, 2009 at 11:57:

I am so glad you posted this questions Chris, because I think a lot of people wonder about this very thing.

I have had DOing as a part of my sex life and relationship for 12 years. I never looked at it in terms of dominant-submissive, but there was a time in the beginning that I struggled over who was in "control" and who was getting the benefit. At the time my partner and I looked at it like, one of us was giving and the other was receiving, and this lead to discussions (ahahm arguments) about who was getting more and who was giving more.

Fortunately, this got straightened out in a conversation with the WC when they reminded us of the definition of DOing or Deliberate Orgasm which is. By agreement, 2 people putting their attention on one person’s body for the optimum amount of pleasure.

Because of our conditioning some people hear this like, she’s getting all the pleasure, or he’s giving the pleasure to her, but DOing is not that way. It does take some training, but the key point in that when you put your attention on another person’s body and touch them with the intention of it being pleasurable, you can feel what they are feeling in your own body. This goes for men and women. It doesn’t matter if you are the DOer, or the DOee, the experience is pleasurable and gratifying. You hear people say, I am a giver, I like giving others pleasure. From the WC point of view, you are “getting” as much, if not more, by “giving.”, so that who’s giving and who’s receiving become a moot point.

I highly recommend you listen to the WC Female Orgasm Podcasts. Several talk about this very thing.

• Female Orgasm Podcast

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