Great Relationship but Sucky Sex?[ Welcomed Consensus Home Page ][ The Clit Board! ] [ Clit Board! Archives ] [ Guidelines For Posting ] Posted by Jenna on July 21, 2009 at 19:28:
From cosmopolitan magazine. How great to have sex in the news again for more fun and orgasm. Watch the Female Orgasm Videos offered here or sign yourself and him up for a
When he makes you happy in a zillion other ways, it can be tempting to convince yourself that being unsatisfied in bed really isn't that big a deal. But we're here to tell you that hell yes, it is. "In a relationship, you need to have that sexual component to maintain intimacy and a connection and keep the romantic chemistry going," says psychiatrist Gail Saltz, author of The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead to a Better Life. "If your sex life is lacking, it can lead to problems outside the bedroom and create resentment, frustration, and emotional distance." No need to panic. With a little creative problem solving, you can sync up sexually and have the kind of physical connection that's as good as the rest of the relationship. PROBLEM 1: He Doesn't Focus on Your Orgasm If you and your guy get along like gangbusters with your clothes on, chances are, he isn't selfish or inconsiderate. So why doesn't he seem to care about your climax? The likely explanation, according to experts, is that he's embarrassed. "Every woman is different, so it can be hard for a man to figure out exactly what works for you," explains Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, author of Pleasuring: The Secrets of Sexual Satisfaction. "Rather than set himself up for failure, a guy might just do nothing." What he needs is a wake-up call that (1) makes it clear that you want to get off as much as he does and (2) gives him the info he needs. The perfect solution: "Show him what you do when you're alone," Saltz says. Most men would kill to watch their girlfriend masturbate, so there's no reason to be shy. Start by making a V with your fingers on either side of your clitoris and slowly rub them up and down — that way, he'll know not to overstimulate you immediately. When you feel yourself becoming aroused, bring your digits together and rub your clitoris in a circular motion, using the exact combo of speed and pressure that's most likely to trigger your orgasm. (Be sure to work in any other go-to moves that help push you over the edge.) For extra credit, let him put his hand over yours.
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